Captain Serious


"Deal with things and stay mentally strong." - Captain Serious

Johnathan Tays had always been a serious person. When he was born he refused to cry and even slapped the doctor in the face when the doctor tried to spank him. Johnathan was born in the small mining town of Flin Flon, Manitoba in *shudder* Canada *shudder* to Brian (a miner) and Andrée Tays (a military history professor at the University of Manitoba).

These seemingly opposing viewpoints of his parents definitely helped shape the hero that we have now. A natural athlete and brilliant mind, Tays was recruited into a branch of Canadian Special Operations Forces Command or CANSOFCOM, their version of the United States Special Forces (try not to laugh at the idea of Canadian Special Forces...)

During the Great Maple Syrup War of 2001, CANSOFCOM reaches desperation as the country's maple syrup supply is dwindling and they are losing the war to the dastardly Pottsylvanians. To combat this, Tay's athleticism and overall seriousness attracts the notice of General Francois Fussypants and "Project: Strongman." Tays is used as a test subject for the Super-Soldier project, receiving a special serum made by Dr. Nickolas Tesla.

The serum is a success and transforms Johnathan Tays into a nearly perfect human being with peak strength, agility, stamina, and intelligence. Tesla, however, refused to write down every crucial element of the serum, leaving behind a very imperfect knowledge of the steps. Thus, when the Pottsylvanian spy Boris Badenov killed him, Tesla's method of creating new Super-Soldiers died with him. Unable to create new Super-Soldiers and willing to hide the "Project Strongman" fiasco, the Canadian government casts Tays as a national superhero. He is supplied with a patriotic uniform featuring the Canadian colors, an indestructible shield made of adamantium (reportedly taken from the Weapon X facility), a special hockey stick (because it's Canada), and the codename Captain Serious (because he refused to be called Captain Canada).

Powers & Abilities

  • Due to the Super-Soldier Serum, his strength, endurance, agility, speed, reflexes, durability, and healing are at the zenith of natural human potential. Tays' body regularly replenishes the super-soldier serum; it does not wear off
  • Tays' battle experience and military history training make him an expert tactician and an excellent field commander, with his teammates frequently deferring to his orders in battle.
  • Years of practice with his near-indestructible shield make him able to aim and throw it with almost unerring accuracy. His skill with his shield is such that he can attack multiple targets in succession with a single throw or even cause a boomerang-like return from a throw to attack an enemy from behind.
  • Though not technically a "super-power", Tays' tenacity and resourcefulness cannot be understated. He simply refuses to lose and will die before claiming defeat.

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