I think that my love for the television show "The Wire" is well chronicled. It's an amazing show that tried to tackle a lot of complex and nuanced problems in society...yet it had some pretty amazing one liners. These are 10 that pretty much exemplify my life as a personal trainer:
Tried to include videos with each one. Also, a lot of swearing. Like...a lot.
Bunk: "A man must have a code."
Omar: "Oh, no doubt."
Very often I see personal trainers (or "fitness professionals") not living up to the ideals that they set for their clients. They'll tell their clients one thing, such as: "Don't drink!" "Eat clean all the time!" "You need to do 12 hours of cardio a week!!!!@!@!"
Meanwhile, that same personal trainer jackass is at the bar till 2 in the morning and can't sprint a block to save his or her life.
Proposition Joe : "Look the part, be the part, motherfucker."
Which leads to the concept of aesthetics. Obviously everyone has a different concept of fitness and health, but for me if you're going to prop yourself as being a fitness expert, you better look like you're a damn fitness expert. You better not try to give me the finer points of carb cycling when you have a beer gut. That's how you catch a 'bow to the throat.
Walon: "What the fuck do you wanna hear? That you're strong enough to do this by yourself? Gettin' clean's the easy part. And then comes life."
You made a decision to make a drastic change in your life. For some of you, to fundamentally change your lifestyle completely. And for a week or so, you're gung ho as hell about it. You Are Focused. Then life happens as it is wont to do. This is when you need help, from either your external support system or form a stronger intrinsic reason because life does not care about your goals. Life does not give two shits about your motivations. Life will kill you if you let it.
Spiros: "But you don't ask ... because you don't wanna know."
Working out is hard. Eating well is hard. Finding the motivation to do either one is hard. I try to drill this into every prospective client before we even get started because people are being inundated with all this fake shit all the time:
Just 10 minutes a day and you too will have 10 pack abs!
Take these pills and you'll be beach ready in no time!
No one wants to talk about how much time and sacrifice this takes because people don't really want to know. Ignorance is bliss. Well, wake up and enlighten yourself. Ask questions and educate yourself about your own body.
D'Angelo Barksdale: "It don't matter that some fool say he different 'cause the things that make you different is what you really do, what you really go through...And 'cause he wasn't willing to get real with the story, that shit caught up to him."
Actions speak louder than words. You can talk about how you've changed your diet or the crazy workouts you're going to do...but what have you actually done?
Stringer: "That's good. That's like a forty degree day. Ain't nobody got nuttin to say about a forty degree day. Fifty? Bring a smile to your face. Sixty? Shit, niggas are damn near barbecuing that mothafucka. Go down to twenty? Niggas get they bitch on. Get they blood complainin... but forty? Nobody give a FUCK about forty. Nobody remember forty, and ya'll niggas is giving me way too many forty degree days. What the fuck?!"
Effort is everything. I cannot handle people who come to a workout and half ass it. You might as well just take your ass home cause nothing frustrates me more than someone wasting time.
Levy: [to Stringer] "A guy says if you pay him, he can make it rain. You pay him. If and when it rains, he takes the credit. If and when it doesn't, he comes up with reasons for you to pay more."
There are predatory people out there that are only interested in your money. Those people include personal trainers. Be careful and ask around. Get references from your friends.
Omar: "How you expect to run with the wolves come night, when you spend all day sparring wit' the puppies?"
Can't expect to keep up with one aspect of fitness when you haven't been training for it at all. Which leads to:
Marlo: "You want it to be one way, but it's the other way."
You want this to be easy. You want to be able to slack off on your prep and training. But that's not possible.
Marlo: "Do it or don't...but I got someplace to be."
Either you're going to put in the effort and work out...or you're not. Either way, I got shit to do.
Clay Davis: "Shiiiiiiiet"
When a client asks me if we're done yet.
Stay sexy, heroes.